Humility

      My mother is always saying that most of the problems in human relations are solvable through humility. The more and more I think about it, the more I agree. We try to complicate things, but humility is key. Read any relationship help guide book and they will discuss power and negotiating power. But do we ever stop to wonder why power is such a huge issue? I think the answer is pride. We have soooo much pride and need to always maintain power and control and that is where the problems start and where the solutions halt. The solution is humility.

     Merriam Webster defines humility as "a quality or state of being humble." Good ole Webster continues on to define humble as "1. Not proud or haughty: not arrogant or assertive. 2. Reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference of submission <humble apology>." I think those terms are self explanatory, but dissecting these terms is vital in understanding this blog. (Guess this is the linguistic anthropologist in me as much as I hate to admit it.) Not proud or haughty, I personally think that pride is a useless emotion. What is the motive behind pride? 

     Pride implies a sort of competition, a desire to one up someone to increase their own feelings of pride or achievement. Oftentimes, in order to maintain your pride, you must belittle another. Ways to maintain pride; act condescendingly, not admit when you are wrong, not even consider the fact that someone else's ideas are just as profound or more profound than their own, ignore other's feelings because you are overly concerned with your own and you are concerned about how you are going to be perceived by others. None of these reasons benefit both parties involved. So I ask again, what is the motive behind pride and how could it possibly improve a relationship. If anything, it is a selfish emotion with even more self centered motives. Why can't we build ourselves up differently?

     Pride isn't simply an issue in romantic relationships; it plays a role in all of our human relations. I have a friend who doesn't completely believe in love; however, through his actions, he is a clear believer of pride. Pride goes hand and hand with competition. In this "me" generation, it is conditioned into us from a very young age. When a child accomplishes a feat the parent usually asks, "Now insert name aren't you proud?" This pride evolves into something that we begin to need like air at the expense of others. I would prefer to believe in something that may or may not be real, like love, than practice something that is very real and very deconstructive as pride. Lack of humility keeps your from fully appreciating people around you.  Humility is simple when we stop relying on pride to build ourselves up. So the next time you are debating whether or not to rub something into someone else's face, talk down to someone, or neglect an alternative way of doing something, stop and have a little humility. In the long run, it will save you a lot of trouble.