Guest Blogger: Lendactic
This weekend my daughter introduced me to sushi. For many years I found the very idea of sushi distasteful (pun intended) then my daughter informed me it could be made with cooked fish, took me to an excellent Japanese restaurant for my first taste and rocked my taste buds. Oh my goodness sushi is a huge explosion of taste, each layer complementing the other and stimulating various areas of my ecstatic tongue. Who knew! My daughter introduced me to something amazing and I am a sushi fan for life.
My daughter and I hunted down the ingredients (not easy to find seaweed in the small town I live in) and made our own sushi. Surprisingly it was very easy to make in spite of its complex taste. This entire experience was enjoyable on so many levels. It was nice to spend time with my daughter who I think is the best thing about my life, and I always enjoy broadening my experience, but this weekend made me think about the value in letting the young teach us old dogs .
I am a 51 year old a mother of three, college graduate, a fairly intelligent person, lifelong learner, avid knowledge seeker, critical thinker, independent, and generally a nice person. Yet when my mother and I talk you would think I was a total idiot! She talks to me as if I know nothing and she knows everything. Yet her life is evidence of how little true wisdom she has acquired and used in her life. But she is old and sick and I let her lecture me and correct me and pretty much beat me up with her words so that she can continue to see herself as the expert with all the answers. It doesn't hurt me and I know this false image of herself is something she needs to hold onto but this weekend with my daughter made me think of all that my mother is missing by her need to have all the answers, right or wrong, and no longer asking questions or opening up herself to new ways of thinking. The saddest thing about her life are the walls she puts around herself to block pain and in the process block love. She takes a lot of medication--I wish medical science had a pill for this. Sushi might be a start if only this daughter could get her mother to experience it like my daughter did for me. Well you know what they say about hope—it springs eternal so who knows. What I know is that sushi is the bomb and my beautiful daughter is amazing.
Nice post, Len! I'm glad you all had such a wonderful time together. That is what family is all about. Share in the good times and learn from the not-so-good times. It's unfortunate that your mom hasn't let down her wall to share in loving such a fantastic woman, but learning from her mistakes has offered you the tools to create a wonderful relationship with your children. Don't give up hope on your mom, though. You never know when she will have a break-through and finally allow you in to her world without insults or arrogance.
ReplyDeleteStay the race, ma!
Jsgirl a.k.a. your friend, Pam